Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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