Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
