If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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