P.S. I can't hear my feet
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
