Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
