just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
