2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
