He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
