You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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