You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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