Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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