i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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