Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
