I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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