I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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