That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
