I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
