road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
