U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
