do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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