Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
