i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
