Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
