things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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