All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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