so let's talk penis.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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