Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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