New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
