Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
