You made me cry and you don't even care
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
