i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
