Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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