I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
