Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
