My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
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