we have officially lost it.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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