i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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