Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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