How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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