New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
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We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
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Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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