The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
