I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
