All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
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come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
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The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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