Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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