Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
