Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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