maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
