Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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