He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
