Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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