he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
