Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
