I looked at my own cervix.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
