just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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