i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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