i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i think my cat just said my name.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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