dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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