He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Is Oprah even human
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
