did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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