I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
