Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
