names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
