I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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